Some nights covered in all black. When I slip back into that dark place. To be swallowed again by the pain. To wonder again how much it has to hurt and how much hurt you must endure before the numbing begins.
And then there are some nights.
Some nights when you would do anything to make the hurting stop. Those nights you would do anything to make it go away. Those nights…when you find yourself holding on to every last memory you have and you grip it tight like that teddy you would never dare part with as a young child.
And then there there are some nights.
When you realize that this is your life now. That there is no escaping the darkness and the pain and the suffering. When the beauty is nothing but a haunting thing now. When you realize that you will always feel this way and that there is no parting from it.
And then there are some nights.
That you want to feel this pain, because that is the only way you can remember anymore.
And then there are some nights.
That I pray you are watching over me to save me from these kinds of nights.
